let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize