I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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