Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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