She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
