i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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