what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
