How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
