hotel room ftw
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
