guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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