imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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