Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I woke up under a house in Key West
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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