the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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