He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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