Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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