and you said cock pushups were impossible
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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