ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
