At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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