So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
