Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize