sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
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