He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
