ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
