If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
