I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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