windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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