Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
