I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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