I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
