It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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