Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
