She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
