I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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