it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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