is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
