My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
