Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
it glows. i had to have it.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I am available for nakedness
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
