in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
should my penis look like a turkey
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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