I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I am mentally ready for anal.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
