The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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