Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
