you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
