Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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