I love black thongs
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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