Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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