i just made my gag reflex go away.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
