I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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