My hand turned me down
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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