yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
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