i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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