Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
We named our party play list daddy issues
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
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