her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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