the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
