so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
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