Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
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