i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
