Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
