even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
