We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
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