if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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