I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
