Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
