did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
All the doctor said was why
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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