it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
