this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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