Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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