I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
